Reconciliation
"And the son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.' But the father said to his servants, 'Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his  hand, and shoes on his feet; and bring the fatted calf and kill it, and let us eat and be merry; for this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.'"

Lk 15:21-24
"Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick; I came not to call the righteous, but sinners."

Mk 2:17

What is the Sacrament of Reconciliation?

The Sacrament of Reconciliation, also called Penance or Confession, is the sacrament of God's mercy toward us. While Baptism forgives our sins (original sin and personal sin), it does not free us from personal weakness and the inclination to sin (called concupiscence).
This means that when we fall from grace we need some means of being reconciled with God again, and again, and again etc... (you get it). This is why the Church instituted the Sacrament of Reconciliation. The Biblical root of the sacrament is found in John 20:23, when Jesus addresses the twelve apostles saying, "If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained." Catholics believe in Apostolic Succession, which is the passing down of the authority given by Jesus to the Apostles to start his Church, handed down through the generations to the bishops of today. Since bishops exercise their apostolic authority vicariously through their priests, who are given the power to absolve sins by virtue of their ordination, it is necessary to confess one's sins to a priest in order to receive absolution.

"Therefore confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed." (James 5:16)

Why should I go to Confession?

What is sin?

To put it simply, "At the core of sin is a rejection of God and the refusal to accept his love. This is manifested in a disregard for his commandments." (YOUCAT #67) Sin is much more than just doing bad things or being weak, it is a rejection of something good; actually of "The Good" itself, God. Sin is separation from God and thus a separation from the very source of life and love. God wants us to live; St. Iranaeus said, "The Glory of God is man fully alive." 

There are different kinds and degrees of sin. Here is the basic breakdown:

Original Sin — the disastrous result of the disobedience of Adam and Eve. Everyone inherits this at their conception, and the result is death. Baptism frees us from this.  
Actual Sin — These are the sins we actually commit or incur because of omission. They fall into the following categories:


Venial Sin — less serious sin that only strains our relationship with God. These sins can build up over time and dispose us to more serious sin. Venial sin is forgiven with reception of the Eucharist.

Mortal Sin — serious sin that destroys the power of love in our hearts. Without love there can be no eternal beatitude. This is why it is called "mortal" sin. Mortal sin means spiritual death and a break in our relationship with God. We must confess mortal sins to a priest in the Sacrament of Reconciliation in order to receive God's forgiveness of mortal sin. Baptism also cleanses us of mortal sin, if we have any (i.e. persons baptized as adults).


For sin to be "mortal" there are some conditions it must meet. 
  1. It must be serious in nature (grave). In other words it has to be objectively bad and opposed to an important value, for instance, being directed against the life of God (e.g. murder, blasphemy, adultery, etc...). 
  2. It must be committed with FULL knowledge. That means you actually have to know that it is wrong.
  3. You must consent to it freely.

In other words, it is serious, you know its serious, and you do it anyway. If a sin does not meet all of these criteria, it is not "mortal." There are circumstances that can make what is under most conditions a mortal sin, no longer mortal. Addiction, psychological and physical conditions, an inability to comprehend because of disability or age, pressure or use of force, etc... can all lessen or even eliminate culpability for sin. 

If you have more questions about sin and what you ought to confess check out the Examination of Conscience for adults. 

Sinfulness — the inclination to sin, also called concupiscence. This is the disposition that is left in our hearts even after sacramental absolution. The sacrifice of Jesus on the Cross destroyed the power of sin, but our inclination toward it remains until the last judgement.

Who can forgive sins?

The Youth Catechism clearly answers this question, explaining that "God alone can forgive sins. Jesus could say "Your sins are forgiven" (Mk 2:5) only because he is the Son of God." (YOUCAT #228)

While only God can forgive sins, it is still necessary to confess them to a priest, who stands "in persona Chrisi" — "in the person of Christ." When you confess to a priest, you are confessing to God, the priest is just the instrument and dispenser of God's grace. A priest "absolves" and God "forgives." 

What does the Sacrament of Reconciliation do?

Since our sin separates us from God, from one another, and the Church, and harms the whole Body of Christ, going to confession and receiving absolution reconciles us to God and to the Church. It heals us and restores us to full communion with the Body of Christ. Our sins are like bricks in a wall between us and God. Each time we commit a venial sin, we add a brick to that wall and make it harder to receive God's love. Mortal sins add 
"If there were no forgiveness of sins in the Church, there would be no hope for eternal life and eternal deliverance. Let us thank God, who gave his Church such a great gift."


St. Augustine of Hippo (345-430 AD)

Tips for Going to Confession

  1. Go!—just go, its that simple.
  2. Go often! Most masters of the Spiritual Life (St. Ignatius, St. Francis de Sales, Pope St. John Paul II, St. John of the Cross, St. Josemaría Eschrivá, etc...) recommended going to confession at least once a month. Many of these saints went every week. Yes, even SAINTS went to confession weekly!!! Try it, there is nothing to lose, and you will only gain eternal life.
  3. ATTENTION PARENTS!!! Bring your children to confession, and let them see YOU go. If you don't make confession a priority, they definitely won't. If they don't see you going, they won't think its important. Fathers, this is ESPECIALLY true for you.
  4. Just confess YOUR sins not your brother's sins, your spouse's sins, or your children's sins, just YOUR sins! 
  5. JUST confess your sins. There is virtue in being concise and just saying what you did. There is no need for explanation or backstory. It takes great humility to simply say what you have done without defense or justification. Besides, unless you have made a special appointment for confession or spiritual direction, there are probably other people who would like to go to confession behind you in line. Be courteous to them and just confess your sins. 
  6. Don't expect a whole lot of advice or spiritual direction. Unless you make an appointment with a priest to see him for a more in depth confession with spiritual direction, confession is not the time for lots of advice or more in depth direction. The priest will probably only address briefly one or two sins, assign you a penance, and absolve you. 
  7. You have nothing to fear, everything you tell the priest is COMPLETELY and TOTALLY CONFIDENTIAL. Absolutely NOTHING you tell him can ever be repeated, PERIOD. The seal of confession is taken extremely seriously by all priests. The Church takes it so seriously that if a priest breaks the seal for any reason, whether directly or indirectly, he is automatically excommunicated and can only be absolved and restored to communion by the Pope himself. WOW! 
  8. Do a thorough examination of conscience before going to confession.  Everyone sins, including the saints, this means that you most likely have sins to confess, even if they are not mortal sins. Pope Saint John Paul II went to confession weekly. Check out one of the examinations of conscience below, you might be surprised at some of the sins you have committed that you didn't even realize you did.
  9. Write down your sins if you have to. Sometimes our memory fails us, so there is no shame in writing down what we need to confess in order to give a complete confession. 
  10. Don't be scrupulous. Scrupulosity is itself a sin. Basically this means that you are too harsh on yourself, and do not trust in God's grace and mercy. If you realize you forgot something after you've gone to confession, don't worry, it is covered. Just write it down and confess it next time you go. 
  11. Be honest. Don't omit anything. Intentionally withholding sins in confession is itself a mortal sin. The priest is not there to judge you or belittle you. In fact, hearing confessions is one of the most humbling and amazing experiences of priesthood. We have to go to confession just like you do (I can't absolve myself). 
  12. Confess mortal sins in both number and kind (see above explanation). If you cheated on your spouse three times, say that you did so three times. This requirement only applies to mortal sins, not venial sins. If you honestly can't remember how many times you committed a mortal sin, do your best. It is okay to say you can't remember how many times you did something. 
  13. Missing Mass for a legitimate reason is NOT a sin. If you were sick or caring for a sick person, your obligation to attend Sunday Mass or a Holy Day of Obligation is commuted. If there was a bad snowstorm and you could not get out of your house, if a tornado carried you away to another town, or an earthquake opened up a crack to big to cross between your house and the Church, you did not commit a sin by not going to Mass. However, if you forgot to go, just didn't feel like going, or simply did not prioritize going to Mass over other events like a soccer game, cricket practice, or your synchronized swimming championship, you probably should confess missing Mass. There are lots of Mass Times to chose from, and for the most part everyone in New Hampshire lives within 30 minutes of a Catholic Church. Keep Sunday Mass and Holy Days of Obligation a priority. If you're traveling out of town, check our Masstimes.org for a Mass near you!
  14. GO TO CONFESSION! We can't say this enough. Repent of your sins, and be faithful to the Gospel! Jesus wants to heal you and Confession is the place to start.

Preparing for Confession

A good examination of conscience for children preparing for First Reconciliation and beyond.
An examination of conscience for adults based on the Ten Commandments.
A daily Examen prayer by Fr. Michael Gaitley, MIC based on St. Ignatius' Examen. 

Going to Confession

After Confession

Having gone to confession, how do I avoid sin in the future? How do I become a better disciple?
Often we need healing for the residual wounds that remain from our sins, even after confession. Healing prayer may be what you need.
Get rid of your baggage and the spirits that bind you and enslave you to sin. 

Other Confession Resources
CatholicsComeHome.org — A great resource for lapsed Catholics who wish to come home to the Catholic Church and have questions about Confession. 

USCCB (The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops) page on Examinations of Conscience. 

Word on Fire — Fr. Robert Barron's website. There are tons of great videos on every possible subject, including sin, confession, deliverance, and more.

    Questions about Confession, sin, healing prayer, etc...?